5 Tips for Communicating Assertively without Being Passive-Aggressive
Do not swear or behave inappropriately, as it will allow the individual who you are confronting to focus in on your inappropriate behavior, instead of their own. Closing Thoughts. Confrontation can be stressful and scary. Successful confrontation skills . Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and to confront people who challenge you and/or your rights. You can even allow yourself to be angry! But remember to control your emotions and to stay respectful at all times. 5. Be Open to Criticism and Compliments. Accept both positive and negative feedback graciously, humbly and positively.
These situations will most likely involve students who are involved with policy violations, but it could also involve students who are treating other students unfairly, or students who are making unreasonable demands on your time. Confrontation is an inevitable part of your job. Confrontation is made easier if you learn how to confront in an assertive manner.
Aggressive or non-assertive behavior will not get you the results you desire. In a confrontation, it is important to realize that as someone who confronts inappropriate behavior, you will sometimes be met with acceptance.
At other times how to assertively confront someone may be met with aggression or a lack of hearing. There is no specific formula for confrontation, as situations and personalities will all differ from incident to incident. Non-Assertive behavior occurs when one individual does not stand up for their rights. Asseritvely non-assertive person may have a tendency to say yes to situations, whether they agree with them or not.
When a non-assertive person does express these things, they are often disregarded, because they may be spoken in a non-confident and apologetic manner. Individuals who are involved in non-assertive communication look to avoid conflict and appease others.
The goal of confrint is often domination. In aggression, one individual typically communicates in a way that disrespects and devalues another individual, along with their thoughts, ideas and opinions. Assertive individuals give and get respect from others that they interact with. Assertive communication is fair, and it allows for compromise when the needs of two individuals are in conflict.
Tone of Voice and Non-Verbal Communication. Although we communicate with words, we often communicate more non-verbally than verbally. Voice tone and body language are very important factors to keep in mind in communication and confrontation, because you can say all the right things, but if you come off as meek or hostile, your words may not obtain the desired outcome. Voice tone in non-assertive communication may be too quiet and without appropriate inflection.
It may be monotone. Eye contact may be indirect, where an individual does not look another individual in the eye. A non-assertive person may cross their arms uncomfortably and loosely, slump down, or wring their hands.
Eye contact is often glaring, eyes may be piercing, lips may be pressed together, and fists may be clenched. Eye contact is direct, and an appropriate amount eomeone personal space is maintained.
Assertive behavior involves straight and relaxed posture that is not threatening. Practice reflection when you communicate. This involves restating back to a person what they are saying, as it communicates to them that you are hearing and how to assertively confront someone what they are saying. When an aggressive person realizes that their points are being heard, they in many instances will calm down and become less aggressive. Remain calm. Explain how you feel, why how to assertively confront someone feel the way you do, and what you will and will not do in managing a situation.
Present options i. If you feel that an individual donfront trying to manipulate you and move the conversation away from the issue of the confrontation, try repeating your original somenoe repeatedly, which will how to assertively confront someone you to focus the discussion on the appropriate issue i.
Never threaten an individual with a specific consequence. You can always state the possible consequences of behavior, but never threaten a specific end result, because if the end result does not happen, you will lose credibility. Do not swear or behave inappropriately, as it how to make a tshirt transfer allow the individual who you are confronting to focus in on your inappropriate behavior, instead somdone their own.
Confrontation can be stressful and somelne. Successful confrontation skills what kind of animals live in a marsh learned, assertively they are made better with practice.
Remember that due to situational and personality issues, being assertive will not always allow you to obtain your desired results. Defining Behavior Non-Assertive Behavior Non-Assertive behavior occurs when one individual does not stand up for their rights. Tone of Voice and Non-Verbal Communication Although we communicate with words, we often communicate more non-verbally than verbally.
Non-Assertive Behavior Voice tone in non-assertive communication may be too quiet and without appropriate inflection. Aggressive How to assertively confront someone Voice tone in what love spells really work behavior is often loud, harsh, shrill or hostile.
Assertive Behavior Voice tone in assertive behavior is expressive, calm and clear. Tips for Successful Confrontation Practice reflection when you communicate. Do not ramble, what to wear when you go horseback riding your point directly and concretely. Keep your voice tone neutral; do not be too hostile or too passive. Never get emotionally involved in a confrontation…it will make you very ineffective.
Closing Thoughts Confrontation can be stressful and scary.
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Jun 24, · How to Confront Someone Method 1 of 3: Preparing to Confront Someone. Identify why you are confronting the person. Before you confront someone, Method 2 of 3: Engaging in Confrontation. Propose a time and place to talk in person. While it can be tempting to Method 3 of 3: Knowing When to.
Last Updated: January 28, References. This article was co-authored by Tracy Carver, Ph. Carver specializes in counseling for issues related to self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and psychedelic integration.
There are 25 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed , times. When you decide to address something or someone directly and proactively, you are engaging in confrontation. While it may not be the most enjoyable social interaction, productive and non-aggressive confrontation has been specifically shown to assist in the development of healthy boundaries in social relationships, improve decision-making, and challenge the status quo.
Prepare yourself for your confrontation by noting down the points you want to make in advance and rehearsing them, as this will boost your confidence and enable you to express yourself in a coherent manner. Your points should explain what happened, why you want to talk about it and how it made you feel.
Additionally, during your confrontation, try to stick to the issue at hand and don't allow the conversation to veer off course by bringing up past frustrations. For more advice, including how to deal with a defensive reaction from the other person, scroll down.
Co-authored by Tracy Carver, Ph. D Last Updated: January 28, References. Method 1 of Identify why you are confronting the person. Before you confront someone, it is important to identify why you are confronting the person and also consider if confrontation is the most effective manner in which to handle the issue.
People tend to project emotions or moods onto other people or other situations. Before you decide to confront someone, take the time to parse out what the issue is that you want to approach and why you feel like a face-to-face confrontation is the best way to go about resolving this issue. Evaluate what you are thinking and feeling. Separate problems from emotions. Past actions or feelings that are not directly related to the issue at hand have no place in your confrontation.
Decide what you want to say. You will want to explain to the person what happened, what you heard, what they did, etc. You will also want to explain why you feel the need to talk about it, and how it made you feel. Write your main points down on paper and rehearse them. Writing your thoughts out on paper before your confrontation can help you to ensure you say everything you want to say to the other person. Rehearsing the main points that you want to make during your confrontation can make you feel more comfortable and prepared for the actual confrontation event.
Start by rehearsing alone in a room while looking in a mirror. If you have someone that you trust, you may want to practice in front of them as well. Try to memorize your main points. This will be much more effective than reading from a piece of paper during your confrontation. Don't write out everything you want to say word-for-word. If it's too scripted, your words won't flow naturally while you're talking, and the other person is more likely to become defensive.
D Licensed Psychologist Expert Interview. Allow your anger to subside before your confrontation. While sometimes we lash out at a person when we feel anger, we generally shy away from planned and controlled confrontation.
However, a controlled confrontation can be a positive and effective way to deal with a problematic issue or person. It is important, however, to ensure that you are mentally ready for your confrontation; you want to feel calm and ready to have a discussion. Determine if you still feel anger toward the person or about the issue you want to discuss. If you still feel anger, it is likely not the best time to have a constructive confrontation. Postpone your confrontation until your anger subsides and you can have a rational, factual, and emotion-free conversation.
Take a few minutes to calm yourself—like by breathing deeply or listening to music—before the conversation. That will help you regulate your emotions, including anger. Remember the positive aspects of confrontation. While confrontation is uncomfortable, awkward, and difficult, it can also be a rewarding experience. The benefits from confrontation can improve your own emotional state as well as your relationships with others. Confrontation can release you from the burden or tension of a situation.
Confrontation encourages honesty in a relationship. You learn more about yourself than you would otherwise, and you gain the confidence to express the way you honestly feel. Visualize a positive and productive outcome to your confrontation. Remember that confrontation often does have positive effects. Deciding the outcome that you want from your confrontation can help you move the conversation productively.
Method 2 of Propose a time and place to talk in person. While it can be tempting to confront someone through a phone call or via text or email, it should be avoided if at all possible.
Can we sit down and talk about our different views and see if we can find a way to collaborate so that this project gets done? Would you be able to find time this afternoon to sit down and have this conversation? Say your point with composure. Keep your confrontation calm, composed, and collected. It is usually best to confront someone with a few brief, factual, succinct statements. Say what you need to say, but try not to blame the other person. Keep in mind it might not be all their fault.
Be as open, honest, and direct as possible. Reciting what you have prepared will help you present your issue in the best possible way. Maintaining as much professionalism as possible during a confrontation will lead to a more positive outcome. Listen to the other person. A productive conversation depends on both parties alternating between contributing and listening.
Listening to the other person will help them feel respected and heard. This is true for every type of conversation but is especially important in a tricky social interaction like a confrontation. Try to be emotionally non-threatening. Expect the other person to get defensive. People often will get defensive when they are confronted as it is not a pleasant feeling to be attacked.
The best way to handle a defensive person is to listen to them. While you may not agree with the point they are making, you should give them the chance to speak their mind. Try to avoid arguing. It is easy to argue with someone who is getting defensive; however, it is undoubtedly unproductive. Try your best to keep a calm and collected demeanor instead. Letting the other person know that you're listening to what they have to say might help them not become overly defensive.
Stand by your point. You confronted the person for a reason, and it is important that you stick to your guns even if they are disagreeing with you or acting defensively. If you are armed with facts and examples and present these with composure and clarity, your point should be heard.
Keep in mind that your opinion matters, and being able to speak honestly is worth engaging in an uncomfortable social interaction. Method 3 of Confront someone if the issue is recurring. Approach someone if they are causing wider problems.